'80s Makeup Commercials: They Just Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To
It's Wednesday, which means it's time for some midweek comedy relief. While perusing YouTube looking for vlogger videos, I stumbled across the above MaybellineMoisture Whip Lipstick commercial from 1984 starring Lynda Carter, who played Wonder Woman in the hit TV show of the same name (translation: she was the Sarah Jessica Parker of her time). My first reaction when this video started playing was, Is this a makeup commercial or the introduction to an adult video? The aggressively suggestive language makes even today's Victoria's Secret ads seem tame in comparison! In fact, this commercial seems more geared more toward men than women. Because the idea of wearing a full face of makeup while swimming in a pool is not something any girl would contemplate, now or back then.
This awesomely '80s discovery prompted me to dig around for more commercial gems from the era, the best of which I've posted after the jump. '80s makeup ads were overdramatic, cheesy, and unintentionally hilarious—but boy, did they try hard not to be.
L'Oréal Paris Shadow Riche Eyeshadow, 1983. Because nothing says "elegance" like peacock eye shadow on your top lids and fuchsia shadow on your bottom ones. Even Snooki wouldn't be caught wearing a look this outrageous.
Maybelline New York Great Lash Mascara, 1986. This actually seems to be two commercials, the first of which displays such a cornucopia of cuteness—Grandma! Puppies! Birthday cake!—that it reads more like an ad for Hallmark cards than makeup. The second spot features a model who looks exactly like Brooke Shields (but isn't), and the most '80s term of them all: Sassy.
Lancôme lipstick, 1980s. Even the stunning Isabella Rossellini can't make this hokey, breathy dialogue—"Colors lrrright in fashion!", "Lipsticks that behave themselves beauuutifully!"—sound graceful.