Each week our no-holds-barred beauty blogger Grace Gold picks apart a hot topic beauty story. It’s our version of an op-ed…with lipstick, laser treatments, and eyeliner.
Nothing would delight my 11-year-old heart more than when my mother announced we were stopping by the mall.
But it wasn't the shopping, the adorable puppies at the pet store, or the decadent cinnamon buns and frosted cookies on display that interested me—it was the department store cosmetics counter. I knew my mom only replenished her moisturizer and lipstick during gift time, and that meant a cosmetics bag filled with delectable minis would soon be in my possession.
When I finally got my hands on freebie samples, I would divvy up my gifted goods in my Caboodle organizer and call on my friends and always-obliging little sister to do makeovers.
One day I was told there may be something wrong with my favorite pasttime. I was giving a makeover to one of my best friends at her house, and her father walked into the room and yelled, "Wash that crap off your face." He promptly sent me home. My friend told me the next day at recess that she was no longer allowed to have me over because her parents said I was a bad influence.
I knew what bad behavior was, and I knew I wasn't guilty of it. I also knew my latest purple quad acquisition looked awesome on my girlfriend's green eyes, and I was miffed that I couldn't blend the plum shades on her lids again. What the heck was the problem here?
Then I learned more about the issue adults had with girls my age playing with makeup. As friends jealously watched while I slicked on pink lip gloss and patted my nose with a mini compact powder in the school bathroom, they explained they weren't allowed to use makeup until they were 16. I slowly came to learn that makeup wasn't always considered creative fun, and instead carried sexual connotations when placed in the hands of a young girl.
Looking back at my innocuous play at that age, I still wonder if there are any legitimate reasons to assume such experimentation could be harmful.
I'm personally forever grateful my parents saw no issue with my girlhood beauty experiments. I credit those days spent discovering and exploring makeup with what has evolved into my greatest passion, and my career.
What do you think?
Image Credit: BananaStock/Thinkstock
Jen Gillies
May 31, 2012
I think the key here is moderation. My mother was very against my wearing makeup until I was 16, because she saw it as ‘advertising for sex;’ while there is some truth to that, it was also mortifying when I started getting breakouts and wasn’t allowed to cover it up, going to school feeling appallingly un-pretty next to all of the girls who were allowed to wear makeup (of course, not being allowed to shave my legs/armpits and wear a bra until long after both had become awkward didn’t help, either). My only personal experience with makeup for the longest time only happened in the secret context of sleepovers (remember those, when someone always took things too far and one girl inevitably ended up sobbing in the locked bathroom until they got an apology?), where I was pounced on for makeovers (redhead- always seen as an opportunity to use ALL the green eyeshadow). This meant that by the time I was allowed to publicly wear makeup, I still didn’t really know how. Cue ~3 years of cakey or powdery foundation, concealer that advertised instead of concealed, badly applied too-dark eyeliner, yadda yadda yadda. It was made worse by the fact that by then, most of my peers had years of practice applying makeup, so I continued to stand out in a bad way. Am improving, bit by bit, but it has definitely been hard-earned.
Looking back, then looking forward: I think the best approach is probably to allow kids to play with makeup privately, teach them some of your tips and tricks without making it about ‘you have to do this to be pretty,’ and start allowing them to wear some publicly when they start becoming teenishly self-conscious about how they look. You’re no longer ‘preserving their childhood’ when it’s making them feel ugly next to their peers; once that pressure is there, that extreme awareness of appearance and competitiveness with other girls, that aspect of their ‘childhood’ is out of your hands. And when that time comes, if they’ve been allowed to play/experiment/practice with makeup before (enough to have some idea of how to use it to actually compliment their appearance), they have a better chance of not feeling like a hag-in-training surrounded by ‘naturally’ perfect-skinned, big-eyed, pretty-lipped girls. Because that’s who they are comparing themselves to, whether they’re allowed to wear makeup or not.
Grace Gold
May 31, 2012
I can’t imagine what it would have been like to not have been able to cover those teenage breakouts when going to school – you have my sympathy. Sure, makeup can be used for creativity, for seduction – but it can also make a tremendous impact on one’s self-esteem and confidence when used for coverage purposes, like concealing acne breakouts.
brigittera
May 24, 2012
“I am a professional makeup artist, the daughter of a father who did not allow me to wear any makeup until I was fiteen, and the mother of a twelve year old girl. I believe I may have a pretty well-rounded view on this issue. My first comment is: aren’t we mixing things up here? There’s a world of difference between face-painting, which is indeed creative play – and makeup, designed to to allure and seduce. In my line of work, I have proof everyday about the role of makeup, the intended goals and the image it can convey. To encourage the use of makeup for little girls is to fast-forward their maturing process and contributes to confusing the girls themselves, the adults around them (teachers, other parents etc..) and society in general. The idea or reality of a sexy seven year-old is really disturbing. There’s nothing innocent about this category of makeup for kids – the cosmetic industry has simply created a new market for their products and they put out a message that emphasizes the “play” aspect of their line. But I hope parents realize they are just being enticed to spend their money and be “cool”. Another reason for parents to think twice is that once you open the door to eyeliner and lipgloss, their littles girls will want to emulate the older ones even further with other attributes designed to enhance feminine appeal: bras, low cut tops, high heels and such. The fashion industry would be very happy to oblige. Where’s the limit? My advice? Let little girls stay little girls by avoiding non-age-appropriate wear until the teens. Let them do face painting and unleash their creativity into a world of fantasy play (there are great books with inspiring designs). One can gradually introduce fun nail polish by 10, a tinted lip-balm by 11-12 and a discreet makeup routine by 14-15.
Farrah Linden
May 24, 2012
I agree with your parents. Makeup for play is a form of expression and is a form art : )
Brooke Polons-Troxell
May 23, 2012
My daughter is four and has played with it since she was two. I see nothing wrong with her playing with it, at home, wearing it out is another story. I think the teens with the full on war paint are probably the little girls that weren’t allowed to experiment with it.
Melissa Sue
May 23, 2012
My daughter is two and I let her wear my lip gloss. She wants to be like mommy and she only sees pretty colours. I let her be a child and see things through her eyes. Of course I do not let her play with mascara or anything of the like, as she gets older I’ll let her play with make up that isn’t too harsh or dangerous for her and explain to her that she can’t play with all of the things mommy does because her skin is too tender yet and it’s not good for her. Make up is self expression and a wonderful part of youth. It’s only as dirty as adults make it.
Grace Gold
May 23, 2012
“It’s only as dirty as adults make it.” SO with you on that!
M Taylor Jones
May 23, 2012
I let my daughter do it. I did it. I doubt I’m damaged. She knows she can’t wear it out around town UNLIKE Housewives of OC Alexis Bellino rolling up at the gym with both herself and her 4 year old daughters in full drag. That I do not like. I can get my daughter to do anything with the promise of a new lip gloss – she is 3.5 yrs old. She is into everything girly, pink – ruffles – bows – perfume and she prefers Tom Ford everything. Yes she’s smart.
Grace Gold
May 23, 2012
I officially love your daughter.
Laura Nadeau
May 23, 2012
I had the same issues with makeup and clothing going through adolescense. It was just fun for me, but my parents wouldn’t let me wear makeup outside the house until highschool.