Each week our no-holds-barred contributor Grace Gold picks apart a hot beauty topic. It’s our version of an op-ed—with hair, eyeliner and lipstick.
The girl who rose to fame for whipping her hair back and forth is in the news for making another bold move with those legendary locks.
Twelve-year-old Willow Smith, daughter of Hollywood power couple Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, recently posted a photo online of her newly shaved head. Critics immediately sounded off on the look, questioning the parenting skills of a mom and dad whose youngest child is already well-known for her alternative grunge-meets-punk sense of style characterized by hot pink hair, funky nail art and platform combat boots.
In response, mom took to Facebook and posted this powerful reply:
The question why I would LET Willow cut her hair. First the LET must be challenged. This is a world where women, girls are constantly reminded that they don't belong to themselves; that their bodies are not their own, nor their power or self determination. I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body, spirit and her mind are HER domain. Willow cut her hair because her beauty, her value, her worth is not measured by the length of her hair. It's also a statement that claims that even little girls have the RIGHT to own themselves and should not be a slave to even their mother's deepest insecurities, hopes and desires. Even little girls should not be a slave to the preconceived ideas of what a culture believes a little girl should be.
Over 40,000 likes and shares later, it's clear that Pinkett Smith's message resonated with a lot of women. After all, how many of us have been told how to do (or not do) our hair, makeup and nails, whether during our girlhood days or as adults? Why do young women who experiment with untraditional expressions of beauty experience such backlash?
In reading through the online commentary, it seems there are two overall reactions. In one camp are those who feel that while girls should be free to explore their identities as they grow and mature, parents need to set boundaries of guidance. Too many parents are primarily concerned with being friends, they argue, and need to remember to be parents, too.
Wendy, a reader on my Facebook page, agrees with the above stance, but has her own wisdom to add: "That being said, it's all about what is important enough to fight. If it doesn't harm them or anyone else, I say go for it! Don't sweat the small stuff."
I'm guessing there's more harmony in Wendy's home than in most with young kids!
In the other camp are folks who don't understand what the big to-do is over a girl shaving her head. They believe the social boundaries that make this choice of style appear odd aren't fair to begin with, and only serve to support outdated gender notions of what it means to be a girl. To them, there is nothing outrageous or even questionable about Smith shaving her head.
What do you think? Is this much ado about nothing, or do you believe in social beauty boundaries?
Photo: Getty Images
sweetp
February 26, 2013
To say that something is wrong with a young girl that is comfortable enough to cut her hair off we put to much energy into things that dont concern us. Ijs
Jnfla
January 27, 2013
Sounds to me like you stepping in only made things worse. Her bangs would have grown out a lot quicker than the pixie. Not sure why you chose that style but obviously it was a bad choice.
tena2sweet
January 27, 2013
I have a 9 year old daughter and about 6 months ago I had to cut her hair into a pixie cut because she choped off her bangs and started getting teased by the kids. so I thought a cute pixie cut would make her feel better. but now the kids call her a boy and shes starting to suffer self esteem issue. Everybody has their own parenting style but I really wish my daughters hair would grow back. I hate her having 2 have to deal with her self esteem being constantly bashed. She’s a scrawny little thing and yesterday she asked me if I thought she was chubby. and it all started because her hair was cut short. So I hope they r ready to deal with the backlash of teasing. Because that’s definitely something there going to have to deal with. And I know this from experience. every little girl should have the right to express themselves. and trust me they do so vocally. my little girl deals with it everyday. so I just hope that if you let your little girl have an alternative style, be prepared to deal with the bullying. because it is inevitable the best advice I can give any parent is the advice that I gave my little girl. when they start bullying her laugh like it’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard, say whatever, and walk away. and be consistent don’t respond to them anymore after that. If the bullying continues contact the teacher which is at the point where I’m at now. I want to nip this third grade bullying n the bud before it progresses into something more. You need to take your own childs maturity level and decide whether or not she is ready to make her own decisions on something like this. or whether it’s best that Mom and Dad decide. We have the ability to take into account that there will be teasing if she chooses something radical. and is your child mature enough to deal with the teasing. If so then go for it if not maybe you need to step in and say wait let’s discuss this before you do it.
b johnson
January 15, 2013
I understand the “hollywood”idea or notion of how a child should be raised.She is being raised with securities most “everyday normal” kids dont have in an everyday world it is not realistic and jadas comments dont relate to anyone but her and her reality trust me if willow was out here in the real world she would not be so confident the other kids her peer groups would see to that stop exploiting your child “mom” get a handle on willow.
Anonymous
December 10, 2012
AMEN!! Willow can do whatever her parents allow her to do!! It is none of our business!!
Jeanette
December 10, 2012
We as people have our own uniqueness, our own sense of style, our own individuality, so I say go for who u r and njoy the ride because I bet yu couldn’t tell those critics how to live their lives, so bump the junk and njoyin bein uu
Brittney
December 9, 2012
I totally agree with Jada! I recently modeled for a campaign called Pink Loves Consent (www.pinklovesconsent.com)- it features models of different body types posing in panties that boast powerful messages about consent. I was shocked at some of the criticisms, including one that was directed at me, in which a person said, “If I were her, the last thing I would worry about is being raped”. Why is beauty judged primarily by just one standard? Why aren’t all women encouraged to make their own rules about who they want to be without facing brash criticism about how they’re ugly if they don’t choose to replicate supermodels? I suppose these questions may never be answered, but I applaud Jada for encouraging her little girl to be just exactly who she wants to be, and for confirming that she is beautiful.
Melissa
December 8, 2012
There is nothing wrong with what willow or jada chose to do. Willow chose to express herself. Its not permenant. If she feels later that she made a mistake it will grow out. Willow has always expressed her own style, why is this surprising? And to say Jada is not being “parental” enough is laughable. She is being perfectly parental. A parent has to know their child and decide what to put limits on. A haircut is not exactly a matter of child safety but it is definitely a matterof self discovery and development and a choice that jada and willow have the right to make without being harassed about it.
J
December 4, 2012
Good for Jada!! She is a great mom and Willow can do what she wants with her hair